Supervised Visitation

[Grandma_Bananarama]

For a time, I did supervised visitation with the kids mother. I wouldn't recommend it unless you have a good relationship with the non-custodial parent. There are too many chances for abuses, such as coming unannounced, or staying later than the alotted time set forth by the judge. It left everyone involved hurt. When I had to tell the mother it was time to leave, it took more than once to get her to go. The kids didn't want her to go, and I ended up the bad guy for making her leave. They didn't make it easy for me after she was gone either.

My suggestion if the judge wants supervised visitation, and there are hard feelings within the family, let a third party, such as a mediator from the local child services department, take control of the visitation. You are at another location other than your home. When you walk away from the visitation, so does some of the pain for the children. They don't stand at the windows waiting for their mother to drive up, and you having to mend their little broken hearts.

[Grandma_Bananarama]

Kudos to you for making your visitation work. There are too many hurt feelings for it to work for us. It's too hard on the kids. WHen she isn't around, they are happier. She promises things that won't or can't happen. It sets them up for disappointment. She has supervised visitation she has yet to take advantage of. I won't defy a court order that could come back and bite me in the butt later.

[Admin]

Nannie, you are doing fine, however if you do not want to include a quote box of the other member's post, you need simply scroll down to the text input box (quick reply) and start typing, you need not click on any other button.

This is very sad that such a young child needs to wrestle with such obligatory emotions and being torn in different directions, if you can, get Grammy to bring the counseling session transcripts and the CSW or PHD counselor's assessments of those sessions and the child, to help sway the judge in to making the decision best for the child, regardless of what was previously determined as custodial rights, things have changed and the child's cognitive awareness has grown with her!!!!!

It really gets my goat that people, such as judges and social therapists all know, as well as most of us, that when people do drugs like heroin and cocaine, it skews these peoples perception of things, which should, as long as they have not tested clean for over a month, invalidate ANY claim or issue they wish to bring to the table, for it is one of distorted perception and only serves to cause distress for both the children and their care givers, maybe this is what you all should be lobbying for ALONG with the three strike rule, for if they are not clean, then nothing they have to say should be admissible in court, nor should they even have a right to file for a court date unless they can test clean for over a month, and this does not or rather should not include methadone either, they need to be past that point as well!!!!!!

My two cents!

Admin!

[mckeener]

We are now doing the supervised visitation. Mom's lawyer asked for third party supervison that will put us out of the loop. That was given however all the people that the mother puts down as the people to do the supervising have to go through background checks.

This is going to take a while so the judge asked if my husband and I can do the supervising until it is set up.

We agreed. We go someplace neutural. the first time it was McDonalds. Mom also brought one of her friends and little boy's with her so the children could meet and be around them.

the second time it was the playground at SImms park.

The neutral ground works very well because when it is time to go the children can wave good by take our hands and walk away.


I still have to deal with the crying, waking up at night wanting to stay with me, biting, tearing up books and papers and in general fear, anxiaty and misbehaving.

[mckeener]

we are still doing the supervised visitation thing. the background checks have not gone through yet. Now mom waits until saturday morning to call and say she wants to see the kids. Last weekend we took the kids out for icecream and when the phone rang I ignored it.

I don't mind setting up visitations and working it in to our weekends however this last minute thing is driving me crazy.

[Admin]

You might add that to the next agreement, that no visitation request will honored with out X days notice, unless it also suits you!

Admin!